I recently traveled to Paris, which was my first time there. Actually, it was my first time in Europe. A lot of the differences amazed me. Public transportation. Working hours. But one that has been on my mind is tipping. I always knew that I wasn’t a fan of the restaurant tipping culture in North America, but the effect was bigger than I thought. Escaping it was liberating.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that I don’t tip in the US. I still do my due diligence and tip 15-20% of my bill. But that’s the thing: I do my due diligence. I don’t tip for good service, I tip out of obligation and, honestly. social pressure. Was the service today worth 15%? I have no idea. I just write the amount and move on.

In Paris, I felt very different. There was no pressure to tip a certain amount, or even any amount. Waiters and waitresses are paid normally, so there’s no guilt about leaving someone without a fair wage. I found myself more willing to tip for good service in this context. For example, a cafe I frequented for breakfast had a credit card minimum that I didn’t meet. When I pulled out my credit card, the waitress told me about the limit but said she would just charge the minimum and give me the difference in change. Great! The next day, I made the same mistake, but she was nice enough to do me the same favor, even though it isn’t technically allowed. I decided to leave the change on the table for her. In the US, I doubt I would have tipped more for the same favor. I would have thought, “I’m already tipping.”

I could very well be in the minority here. I know plenty of people who vary their tip significantly based on the service. But I also know people who tip a flat 15% regardless of what happened during their meal. And although in principal the tip should reflect the service, this often isn’t the case in practice.

Personal tipping habits aside, I feel that our tipping system is deeply flawed:

• It misleads the consumer. By paying employees less, restaurants can keep lower menu prices and increase demand. It makes it more difficult to know how much you’re actually going to pay for your meal. You walk into the restaurant craving your favorite $12 burger, but it isn’t going to cost you $12. It’ll cost you $15 after the 10% tax and 15% tip. It can make a big difference for families trying to budget too. “Dinner for 4 at $12 each will cost us $48, right?” Oh wait. Tax. Tips. Boom, you’re up to $60. And yes, I think tax should be built in to the price too. In Paris, if the menu said 10 euros, I was confident that I would walk out having paid 10 euros. Every time. No more, no less.
• It’s exploitative. It allows restaurants, an industry known to skimp on benefits like health insurance and time off, to pay their employees less than minimum wage in many places. In effect, YOU are directly paying the waiter’s wage instead of the employer. Meanwhile, the employer doesn’t have to pay payroll taxes on the tips like they would if they were regular wages. Instead, the employee pays it all. You might argue that if restaurants had to pay more, then they would hike up food prices to make up for it. So be it. It’s better than artificially lower menu prices.
• It’s percentage-based, which doesn’t make much sense. If you order a burger for $10, you’re expected to tip $1.50. If you order a steak for $20, you’re expected to tip $3. Why? Did the waiter really do twice the work to serve you the steak versus the burger? How about that $50 bottle of wine? It really undermines the idea that the tip is based on the service.
• It’s inconsistent across the country. We’ve all heard the figure $2.13/hr – the measly minimum amount that restaurants can pay their servers, and the reason you should tip generously. But did you know that only 17 states go by this federal minimum? 26 states have their own higher minimum, and 7 states require restaurants to pay their servers minimum wage before tips. Does that mean we should tip less in these states because we don’t have to supplement the wages as much? Or should we tip even more in the states that go by the federal minimum to even it out? The reality is that we aren’t going to vary our tips based on these laws, leading to inconsistency.
• It’s sexist. Okay, it isn’t inherently sexist. Nothing in the tipping etiquette guide says that we should tip attractive, blonde females with big breasts more than males or other females. But that’s not what happens (read the study here). Not that this is the restaurant industry’s fault. It’s more symptomatic of other issues in our society. But by putting the workers’ wages largely in the hands of customers (who are not bound by any equal pay laws), it creates an unfair working environment and, once again, undermines the idea that tips are based on the quality of service.
• It’s unfair to other workers. There are restaurants where waiters/waitresses can make a pretty penny while the chefs make close to minimum wage. This seems backwards to me. I don’t go to restaurants for good service. I go for good food. I’ve heard that at some restaurants, they split tips with kitchen staff. That just creates other problems. If a waiter is rude and slow, why should you penalize the chef or the busboy for bad table service? As a customer, you have no idea how the restaurant handles their tips. Should you tip less for food that tastes bad or for dirty dishes? Or is the tip only given to the waiter?
• It creates unpredictable income. A server can go home with $100s in tips one night and $10 the next, leaving them with an inconsistent income that must be hard to plan with.
• It rushes diners through their meal. The waiter can’t seat new guests until you leave. And of course, you’re tipping based on the value of your meal, not the time you’re sitting at the booth. So if you hang around an extra 30 minutes to talk to friends or enjoy the atmosphere, they are not getting any more money. I noticed that in Paris, they don’t bring you your bill until you ask for it. (I’ll leave out how long I waited before figuring this out after my first dinner there.) Otherwise, it is seen as rude and rushing the customer. I loved this. I never felt pressured to leave out of fear of costing the staff extra money.
• It forces people to do math at the dinner table. Okay, this one’s a joke. I like math 🙂

I will concede one pro about tipping that I can’t argue against: It incentivizes good service. You’d have to ask servers, but I imagine they are more motivated to do a good job knowing that much of their pay is (supposed to be) dependent on it. Maybe that’s why service in the restaurant industry is often better than in other service industries.

Even this has issues though. In other industries, I could complain to a manager about poor service and leave it to the manager to handle. At a restaurant? I just tip less. In fact, I’ve been told that in the case of bad service, I should take it up with the manager and still tip 15%. At that point, I’m definitely not tipping for good service or even adequate service – I’m tipping out of obligation to the broken system.